Hey Hey Peoples!
How are you all? The topic of this post pretty much sums up what is about to happen…. I’m going to share my thoughts about the generation that is, in my opinion, very miss understood. While at the same time, I do have to agree that it does have a population within it that may very well be completely out of control and out of line! That generation would be Gen Y aka the Millennials…
Now why do I feel the need to have this rant? Well its quite simple really, I have to deal with the issues of this topic on a daily basis, and lets face it, there is only so much a person can take before they snap. So rather then take out all my frustrations out on one unexpected person who probably wont deserve the full brunt of my rant, I have chosen to take it out on this post instead. So if you choose to read past this point, you do so at your own risk! The content below this paragraph is not said with the intent to offend, or to single anyone out, and I am defiantly not in anyway saying that every person who falls into the category of ‘gen y/millennial’ or ‘twelvie’ and ‘post-twelvie’ are all exactly the same, because lets face it, I too, am technically a Millennial! And I too was once a twelvie and a post twelvie. So this is just my opinion on the topic, take it or leave it. However I am very aware that there are going to be people who read/skim (I admit there is a lot here to read) over this post and instantly go on the defense/attack, and to those people all I can say is if the guilty shoe fits, feel free to wear it sweetheart!
Now let the fun begin :p
Please note that I have added some content to the right, that I have found quiet interesting and thought I would share along with this post…
So first up what is meant by the term Gen Y or Millennial?
In short, ‘Generation Y aka The Millennial’s’ is used in reference to people who just so happen to have been born between 1977 and the year 1994, or between the 1980’s and the year 2000, depending on who you ask. And before anyone tries to argue about the time frame to which the term gen y/millennial applies, feel free to get in line, as there are a lot of arguments about the exact dates, I just chose to go with the two time frames which are most commonly agreed upon. This means that Gen Y/Millennials are for the most part the children of the 2nd Baby Boomer Generation, and also Generation X. Now for the most part, Gen Y/Millennials are also the first children of the technological era. Along with our birth, so too was birthed the CD player, DVD player, digital mobile and pretty much everything else digital, oh and lets not forget about Java!!!
To say the least Generation Y/Millennials can be classified as intelligent, cultured & seasoned (inside joke). Gen Y changed how the world uses media, and what we watch on TV, or should I say why people began to avoid watching tv (reality shows…. really?!?!?). And lets not forget the fact that thanks to Gen Y and social media you now have the ability to remain friends with the people who at school you never really spoke to, or that thanks to that email you received recently, you now know that you are related to a princess that no one has ever heard off, but who wants to give you your inheritance :p And be honest, just how many hours a day do you spend watching cat videos on youtube?!?
“Candy Crush…. Oh, I just went there!! Do you know just how many people, including Gen X and Baby Boomers are addicted to this game! Seriously?!?!”
And yes its true thanks to Gen Y, wifi is the new boiled lollies. Not to mention, that while Gen Y did also manage to rip open the doors that locked in a lot of the worlds demons, and began the path of forcing them to be dealt with, and no longer allowing these things to be swept up under the carpet, Gen Y also opened up a whole heap of new path ways for predators to venture. But we will get into this part later in the rant….
Next up, what do I mean by the term the ‘Twelvie’?
Well its a little complicated to explain but I will do my best. Now for anyone who doesn’t know me, (I use this term a lot) you are probably scratching your head and thinking what the f*ck is the twelvie ratio? and for those of you who may of come across this term (from someone other then myself or my staff), you probably don’t really understand where it came from, or why it is a thing, you probably just know that it exists, an most likely would take offense to the term if it was ever directed at you.
So what is the ‘Twelvie Ratio’ you ask?
The twelvie ratio is broken down into two different phases, the ‘Twelvie’ phase and the ‘Post-Twelvie’ phase.
The ‘Twelvie’ phase refers to a person who is between the ages of 10 and 18 years of age, and their maturity level/state of mind, and also their capacity to deal with different situations. As with most things in life, its not as easy as whacking a label on it and calling it a day, there is way more to it then just saying ‘well you are this age therefore you are a twelvie’, this also applies to saying to someone ‘you were born between these dates, so you are a gen y/millennial’. Sure its true, by basic criteria you would fit into the ‘Twelvie’ or a ‘Millenial’ category, but there is a whole lot more to it then that, and other factors that need to be accounted for.
“You wouldn’t tell a pig they are just a pork roast, now would you? I mean lets face it, they do indeed have the penitential to be a pork roast, but they are also potentially crackling and pork belly, oh and we cant forget about bacon! We must never forget about BACON!”
So What Makes Up The Twelvie State Of Mind?
Trait 1) The need to grow up to fast, followed by the need to stay on top.
So around the age of 10 the “average child” (I use the term average very loosely) starts down the path of trying to grow up to fast, its almost like someone fills their 10th birthday cake with nos but forgets to explain the dangers first. So these nos’d up kids start to really push the boundaries between knowing they are a child, and yet wanting desperately to be an adult. Now I’m not to sure about the rest of the world, but in Australia, once you turn 10 you start getting bumped up into the senior part of the primary school (unless you are in a Prep/kindergarden to year 12 school). I have found that it is from this point that kids begin to change, as they are expected by the school to start leading by example to the younger students, while also trying to prepare for the reality of high school, which in the eyes of these kids, is approaching them faster then we as adults can realize. Because lets face it, we have forgotten what its like to be a kid, the pressure and the anxiety, the excitement and the unknown.
But how do these kids know or learn how to behave in the manner to which is expected from them? Well they look to their role models, which in most cases is their parents, teachers, elders etc., an for the kids who have older siblings, or who are around older kids (neighbors/friends kids/cousins etc.), they look up to these older kids for direction and guidance on how to fill these senior school kid shoes. But lets be real here, the outside world has a lot to do with how these kids shape their opinions on how they should act also. They use outside influences like books, tv shows & movies, and the internet, to draw inspiration from as to how they should behave. Believe it or not, but kids are people too! and it is the environment that they are surrounded by and grow up in, that shapes them into who they are and how they behave.
“Too those of you who are getting your knickers in a knot, and preparing for the war of ‘sure blame the parents!’ Sit down before you hurt yourself!!!”
I said environment, I repeat, environment! This means their home & family, yes, but it also includes their extended family, their school, their friends & their friends families, their parents friends, and the people that are involved in any after school activities, and on top of all that, you then have to account for the media and what they see, hear, watch, and read about! This is no different to how us as adults are affected by our environments, think about every time you make a decision and let something in your life change or affect the choice you come too, for example, your friends are going out, but you have to get up early for work the next day. The choice you make as too whether you go out or stay home is affected by your environment, this is no different for these kids, and like us they are going to make mistakes, and rushed decisions, and they are going to choose the wrong people as their role models. But they will also make a lot of good decisions, and learn from their mistakes, and seek guidance from the right people, it just might take some longer then others to do. And so they begin to accept their lot in life as the top of the primary school food chain, they get a taste of what its like to be on top and to be the ones that other kids look up too…
“Then no sooner do they finally get the hang of being the senior student, BAM! They are in high school, oh and their the juniors again, talk about taking two steps forward and 10 steps back.”
So how does one deal with going from the top of the chain, all the way back to the bottom? You make it your mission to fight like hell, and to one way or another try to get back to the top again!
Its normal and rational to do this, and its something we never really grow out of, till the day we die, we will spend more time fighting to be on top then we do anything else. It is for this reason that we all have our own unique style for fighting back, but for kids who are still trying to learn the world, how it works, while also learning who they are, they sometimes get it right, and sometimes they have to work it out the hard way that they pick the wrong fight. You will always have the kids who decide that their way of fighting back is to out shining the other kids by getting better grades, or being the best at sports, and to some this might sounds harmless, they are getting good grades or they are working hard and with focus on something, that has to be good right? Well in some cases yes, but not always (more on this below). Then there is the kids who just want to straight up stick it to the man and rebel against anything and everything, why? well that’s simple, its because they think they can. An lets face it, that right there, ‘the whole think they can’ attitude is the biggest issue, and its one of the most prominent traits to what makes a twelvie a twelvie! (more on that below).
Now don’t get me wrong there is always that small group of kids who choose not to fight, and instead choose to go under the radar, to stay out of the lime light, and try not to draw attention to themselves. These are the kids who tend to get unfairly labeled… why? because they get thrown in to the mix with all the others who are desperately fight and trying their hardest to get back on top, and yet all this group of kids wants to do is just survive! They don’t care about being on top, and they don’t care about sticking it to the man, they just want to get through the day, and for some kids out there, surviving each day is the most important task of all. We have no way of knowing what every kid is going through in there lives, both at home and at school. For all we know they might have a great home life but not so great of a school life, or visa versa (ill touch more on that in a moment).
So once these kids begin to work out the high school pecking order, and begin there climb to the top once again, things only start to get harder for them, and they begin to slip further and further into the twelvie phase….
Trait 2) The need to fit in while still standing out.
So as I started touched on in trait 1, there are many different ways that twelvies try to survive, some may be positive choices and others not so much. But the one thing that is a guarantee in the world of twelvies, is the need to not just survive but to fit in and be accepted while doing so. Now I dont care who you are, everyone wants to be accepted! Doesn’t matter why or how you want to be accepted, the fact is that you want, NO you NEED to be accepted! Whether this be by your parents/family, by the others at school, the reality is you will do almost anything in order to make it happen. For some people this means them trying to become someone else, and for others this may mean them trying to get people to see them for who they truly are. Either way, this can lead to people taking paths that are hard to turn away from or that are hard to change direction on, once they have started down them.
The whole reason behind the twelvie phase of life is to learn about who you are, and where you sit in the scheme of things, its not about deciding what you will be tomorrow, that’s tomorrows problem! Its about finding out who you are today, about pushing the boundaries in order to make who you are today more comfortable. Unfortunately this means that a lot of mistakes are going to be made, does that make them right or okay? hell no! Does it mean they should be excused for their behaviour and the actions they take while finding out who they are today? again hell no! Because if they dont get into trouble, if they aren’t made to see the cause and effect, if they aren’t forced into looking past today and into tomorrow, they will destroy their lives before they begin! An they will never learn or be able to understand how they destroyed their live or how their lives affect those around them, or how the butterfly effect works.
However they do still need to work out what drives them, what sets them apart from every other twelvie how is fighting the same battle they are, the battle to fit in and yet at the same time stand out. An as we have all learnt through life, is that what drives one person may not drive another and visa versa. This doesn’t mean its wrong (okay well in some situations that involve breaking the law, or breaching a persons safety/well being, yes it is very wrong! but in this particular post I’m referring things like: studying, sports, social experiences etc.) it just means its different, and different is okay! The world would be a very boring place if we were all the same, not to mention that we would never move forward. It is what drives us that leads us to progress, and to the evolution of thoughts and ideas, without drive we would fail to survive. You just have to look at how far we have come over the last hundred years to see where the drive of others has taken us, both for the good and the bad (but to continue this thought pattern here is going to lead us off topic, so I will continue this chain of thought in another post….)
Unfortunately there are people out there who are driven by things that affect themselves and others in negative ways, and this doesnt just apply for twelvies or gen y, every generation has the people who are battling their demons, whether they be internal or external. Demons are demons! Thankfully though, each and every day more help is becoming available to those in need, and people are able to reach out and receive the help and support they require, and this hasn’t always been the case. Whether you like it or not, it is due to the impact that social media has had on society that has lead us to be able to offer help and support to those in need. Now I’m not talking about the people who are trying to find ways to rip off the system, or who are throwing a pitty party and trying to get attention, or trying to keep up with the Jones (though I am very much aware that these people unfortunately exist), I’m talking about the people who honestly require help eg. the ones who need to get out of an abusive situation, or who are in need of food and shelter, or the people who chose a path that lead them astray and need help finding a new path etc.
Reality is that every person, no matter who you are has a story to tell, and we all have our own problems and things we need to battle with on a daily basis. And it doesn’t help when we live in an era where a lot of people seem to not realize that just because its not a problem or doesn’t seem relevant to you, does not mean the problem does not exist or isn’t relevant to the other person. We all want that someone to acknowledge that our problems exist, but we tend to have a bad habit of getting caught up on what is important to us, and we forget about others. This possible has a lot to do with the fact that there are a lot of people out there who honestly believe that the need to posses all the latest fashion items is a problem, and while I personally don’t agree that it is a problem, I do accept that for some people it is. (An I have no issues in admitting that I voluntarily choose not to associate with people who have these kind of problems, because in my eyes, while they are chasing handbags, I’m chasing food, clothes and medical bills for my kids.) Which leads me to the next trait….
Trait 3) The need to feel valued, the need to demand respect, & the need to be over confident .
Who doesn’t want to be valued, or respected, and who doesn’t want to have an abundance of confidence?!?! What separates the adults from the twelvies, is that adults know that these things come with time and need to be earned. You dont just wake up one day valued and respected by all, and you sure as hell dont wake up with true self confidence either! And I’m not referring to the people who act all big and tough, and throw their “confidence” all over the place, because that is not confidence, that people is what we call a show! Its the whole fake it till we make it act! This is usually done by people who try to rush ahead and demand the rewards for things they are yet to accomplish, the only way to have true confidence, is the same way you get true respect or have people truly value you, and that is through earning it! Twelvies are currently sitting there scratching their heads, thinking wait you earn confidence? Yes, you earn it! Confidence comes from self respect and self worth, it is something you need to earn from within yourself, and news flash, if you cant honestly respect and value yourself, how the hell can you expect others too?
Not only that, but have you heard yourselves?? You do realize that when you constantly speak to people with no respect, your not going to get any back, right? You don’t seem to realize that when you talk to your friends and family the same way you talk to the people you don’t like, calling it a joke, doesn’t make it okay! Because you weren’t joking when you said it to the kid who bumped you, or who happened to look in your general direction. The words I was only kidding, dont work unless the other person was either in on the joke or is able to see the funny side, if you are the only one laughing, then you need to stop and thing about they way you treat others. Also just a heads up when you treat people like shit, and then you turn to them when you need help and they say no, they are not the problem! YOU ARE! And chances are, the reason you are turning to them is probably because you treated the wrong person like shit, and they didn’t stand for it. You cant constantly bite the hand that feeds you and expect them to keep putting their hand back out, everyone has their breaking point. And the only way to get respect from others is to show that you deserve it, and that usually starts by first giving it.
“Because guess what? this world doesn’t own you a damn thing!”
If someone helps you in anyway you say THANK YOU! and if you need something you dont demand, you say PLEASE and ask nicely! NEVER start asking for something with I want, this will usually get a straight up NO answer! I want gets you no where in life, However, ‘can I please have….’ or ‘I would like….. thank you’ or ‘may I please’ go a long way! And when you see someone in need you offer assistance! The biggest lesson I am constantly teaching my kids, is that its not about how they treat you at the end of the day, its about knowing that you treated them the way you yourself want to be treated! If you wouldn’t like it being done to you, what gives you the right to do it to others? Because the moment someone does something to you and you complain, you no longer have the right to do it to anyone else! You can not demand punish on people for doing something to you, and then in the next breath go and to the same thing to another person and expect to get away with it!
We live in a wold where respect and value equals everything. If you don’t have it you want it, and those who have it don’t give it out easily. Why because they had to work hard to get it, and you just want it handed to you!?!?! ha I think not, but don’t worry twelvies one day you too will become an adult (oh how I wish this was true for everyone, but that is just wishful thinking 😛 ) and will have a twelvie demand that you give them the respect that they deserve, and you too will laugh at them the same way you are being laughed at today. And don’t think I don’t know what is going through your head right now “no I wont! I know how it feels and I will give them respect straight up no questions asked!”, and all I can say is good luck with that! Because once upon a time the adults who are laughing at your need for respect right now, once said the same thing! But then real life happened, and you soon realize that it is the respect that you have to work your ass off to earn, that gets you places in life. Anyone who gives you respect without you having to do anything to earn it, is either mocking you or they themselves are yet to learn the true value of respect. These are usually the people who stand out in the crowd because they are throwing all their “confidence” around. Word of advice, stay away form those kinds of people, they are still in their post-twelvie phase and just don’t want to admit it or grow out of it! which leads us onto the next trait…
Trait 4) The whole ‘I think I can, therefore I will’ attitude.
Back in trait 1, I mentioned that one of the biggest things about being a twelvie, or rather on of the biggest traits that defines a twelvie, is the ‘I think I can and therefore I will’ attitude. Why do I say this is one of the biggest traits? simply because without this trait alone, twelvies would be completely different! It is this attitude that leads twelvies into trouble, or that sets them up to fail. They get an idea in their heads and rather then thinking it through and thinking about the consequence that may very well follow, they just go ahead and do it! And they think just because they didn’t stop and think about the “what happens next part” that it doesn’t apply to them. All that matters is at that moment they thought they could do it, and so they did! Or they did think about the “what happens next part”, but were so causght up in thinking they could do it, that they thought they could get away with it. This attitude right here stems from trait 3, they believe they deserve the respect, but don’t stop long enough to give it, or to think about how their actions might affect others.
Now that not to say that this only applies to all the big issues that lead to breaking the law or physically hurting yourself and others, this attitude applies to every time they think they have all the answers, or have the right to talk/argue back, or have the right break the household/school rules. An yes, I am one of the first to agree (based on my own experiences) that for some people these rules need to be pushed, and in some cases they need to be broken. There is also the first child/twelvie syndrome that parents tend to suffer from, that needs to be taken into account. This is where the parents believe that their kids are going to make all the same mistakes they did during their twelvie phase, so they make all the rules and consequences so tight and so confining, in hope to try and change the past, without realizing that this pretty much leaves the twelvie with no choice but to try and find some way of being able to breath on their own, or to find some way of being able to find their own path (I have this to look forward to, as my daughter has just started to coming into the first of her twelvie years, and I’m really hoping that I wont fall into the same trap, and that I can do my best to set boundaries that are both guiding and achievable for my kids, trust me when I say that all fingers and toes are crossed). And I also agree that there are some parents that really should not be parents, who are to busy battling with their own demons to recognize that their kids need their support, need their guidance, or worse yet are starting to form their own demons.
“All these variables play apart in just how far down the twelvie rabbit hole these kids will fall, and also just how fast they will be able to climb their way out, not to mention just how scared they will be when they do finally find their way out.”
Then there is the group of people who are really lucky and they find it really easy to fit in, and find it really easy to survive the experience of being a twelvie, and therefore they don’t understand the struggles that others go through in order to achieve what comes naturally for them. An unfortunately this tends to lead to them bullying, making fun of, or being dismissive of the efforts and lengths that others may go to. Whether they know this is what they are doing or not, really comes down to the individual and also to the circumstances of the setting this occurs in. Whether we like it or not it is twelvie nature to think only of themselves and what gets them ahead of the crowd. Think about how the brain develops and how the “average child” develops emotionally. We start out getting the whole worlds attention, we are fed, and cuddled, and bathed on command. Then we go through the stage were everything we touch or look at ‘is mine’, and over the process of a few years we learn that it is not socially acceptable to just go around throwing a tantrum over everything you deem to be ‘mine’. But does that actually mean that you have emotionally developed past this point? NO! It isn’t until we get much closer to adulthood, that we truly begin to start thinking about other people, and their needs. And the reality is that its not until we hit adulthood that we truly understand right from wrong, there is a big difference between accepting what we are told and actually understanding it to be true. This is why the law is written and enforced the way it is.
For twelvies, when they do something wrong, they know that it is not socially accepted, they know that they are going to get into trouble, and they need to understand, that what that do in their twelvie years is going to stick with them for their whole lives. What you need to understand is that just because any possible legal records you may have accumulated over your twelvie years may be able to disappear, everyone around you still know what you did, and how you behaved. You dont just turn 18 and get given a whole new life with no mistakes in it! Thats a reality that you need to find a way to stop first and try and think about, before you do anything. Which leads me to the next trait…
Trait 5) The ‘I’m wrong and I know it, but I will die before I admit it’ attitude.
This trait has to be by far the most frustrating, there is nothing worse then knowing for a fact that someone haw done something wrong, you have even laid out all the proof and yet they still refuse to take responsibility for their actions! I think the part that pisses me off is that you have to work your ass off tho get them to admit that they were wrong, and even when they do, they dont say sorry or try to make a amends for it, no they try and turn it around on you! Now before I continue on with this part, let me make it very clear that I am not saying this applies to all twelvies, I am very much aware that not all behave this way, but sorry to say it, this the portion of twelvies who actually know how to say sorry, who know how to own up to their wrong doings, who know when to but the bullet and admit that they fucked up, is very much the minority! The majority of twelvies will go down kicking and screaming before they will admit they messed up! An when they know that they are losing, they will throw every possible excuse at you in order to try and get away with it. An apparently I didn’t get the memo that says throwing a label around as an excuse was an okay thing to do!
“Too many people these days are trying to use their labels as an excuse, but the truth is your labels are NOT your problem, YOU ARE!”
For startes, lets be real, there are way to many people who brand themselves with something, they don’t really have or isn’t really an issue for them, they look for a label, any label really, that will get them out of trouble, or get them out of having to do something, or prevents them from having to behave in a certain manner. Too those people, you need to take a good long hard look at yourselves! Because the people out there who have a legit reason to be labeled are being punished and having to wear the consequences of your actions! You should be ashamed of yourselves and I really do hope for your sake that you dont one day end up with what it is you claim to have/be. Because living with something you dont have may seem all nice and rosey, but actually having to live with something you do have is very different, and trust me if that day ever does happen, you dont want to end up like the little boy who cried wolf to many times…..
Now for those who have been labeled, you have two choices, both will change your life. The first is that you take the easy road and let your label define you, you let it hold you back, you basically give up and use your label as your shield. This option holds you back, and you will miss out on so many opportunities because of it. Not to mention the people you will lose with it…. The second option, which is the option I chose to raise my kids with, and that is to yes accept and come to terms with the fact that you have a label, but don become your label, become a person! If you know that along with your label also comes challengers, well you fight them as hard as you can, you learn to live with them by not letting them hold you back. For example, my daughter has Aspergers, and social interaction is very hard for her, now she could just give up and become a hermit, or she can work hard and try her best try and make the friends she desperately wants. Sure this has its risks, and there are the kids that don’t understand her, or that she doesn’t understand, and she has had her heart broken a million times. But she gets back up and trys again, we have found different social support groups that she can go to, and thankfully now she is able to have “friends”, its a daily struggle for her and for the friends, and she has been though a lot of people she thought were friends, and each time she learns and grows from the experience, and each new try leads to a better fit then the last.
Sure she uses the whole I cant do that because of my aspergers, but then I ask her why? Why cant you? I have never once seen it written that because you have aspergers that you cant! sure it might be a bit harder for you, but I guess that will depend on how bad you really want to do it, because if you really wanted too, you would at least try rather then give up before you every really truly know whether you can do it or not… or she will do something wrong and will blame it on her aspergers, and again I will ask her, why? Why did your aspergers do that? didn’t you tell your asperger that it was not ok or that it was wrong? To which she usually will back down and admit the real reason behind why she did what she did, and yes a lot of the time it is very much related to her aspergers, but she also knows that she made the choice to do it, not her aspergers. Don’t get me wrong I am very aware that there are some labels that have a lot more control over our actions, I know this because of my son, and the daily battles we go through, but I also know that the areas in which he does have control, he makes every effort to hold on too. He doesnt understand a lot of the time why he is getting into trouble, or what he could have done wrong, and when you try to explain it, only a small part of it will actually sink in. But you know what he doesn’t do… he doesnt say he only did it because his autistic, he doesn’t try to get out of what he did based upon his label. If he does something wrong and it is something he understands was wrong, he says sorry, and sure he does sometimes try to copy the other kids and tries to get out of it, that’s what he does, he mirrors the people around him. But once you get him on his own he will tell what he did and that he is sorry.
It really pisses me off when I hear peoples say I only did it because I have this ‘XYZ’, it pisses me off even more that the twelvies of today think that using their labels as a get out of jail card is ok, and worse yet, it pisses me off even more when they play the suicide card or threaten to hurt themselves! I myself have been through depression, and know a lot of people have been and still are battling it on a daily basis, I have known people who have lot their lives to depression, so when I hear these twelvies using it as a way of getting out of trouble or as a way of changing the direction of the attention, in order to try and make you feel sorry for them rather then be angry at them, really gets under my skin! When you see the people who are legit suffering from anything they have to battle, and then see it being thrown around like a board game card, it destroys your faith in humanity. And I hate to say it but its not just the twelvies who play this card, they may be the majority group that does it but they cant take the full blame alone on this one.
As a society we went from hiding our dirty laundry, to brandishing it everywhere, to now glorifying it. and with every generation that passes through the twelvie stage it gets worse. The boundaries for what is right and wrong are beginning to blur together way to much, and its getting harder to see where one ends and the other begins. Yes its the twelvie population for each generation the pushes these boundaries, but who is stopping them? A very small percentage that is who! Because the rest of the population is to busy pointing fingers and shaming these twelvies, rather then trying to help educate them. Sure they need to make their own mistakes, and sure the governments have take a lot of the power away from parents/teachers/police etc. which prevents them from being able to get ‘old school punishments’ on these kids, but rather then sitting back and complaining about what you cant do, how about focus on what you can do! There are many more ways of being able to reprimand a person that dont involve a beating. And who knows maybe if the twelvies of today see the older generations stand up and take responsibility that might actually copy and follow in your foot steps… which leads me to the next twelvie trait.
Trait 6) Their inability/refusal to take on any responsibility but yet feel the right to demand silver spoon treatment.
I remember once upon a time when people would go and wash the neighbour hood cars, or bake cupcakes and cookies to sell, or make a lemonade stand, or baby sit, just so they could make some extra money to buy the latest new trend. What happened to those days? Why is it suddenly ok to put your hand out and just expect to be given everything? At what point did it become ok for twelvies to pick up after themselves, I mean I know in my home, my kids do not get to go out and play unless their homework and chores are done. And when I say to people, sorry no we cant go here there and everywhere else because my kids are in trouble for not doing their chores, I get looked at like I have three heads! And its usually followed by ‘I’m sure they will do it when they get home’, umm no, sorry but I do not reward my kids for not doing as they have been asked. One day they will grow up and have jobs, and I can tell you now, there is no way there boss is going to pay them if they haven’t done there job, its that simple really. As a parent it is our job to raise our kids to one day go out into the real world and be able to look after themselves. An yet for some reason, we now have this population of twelvies who have no idea about the real world, let alone how to look after themselves, and are under the impression that it is ok to keep putting there hand out to their parents.
I was blown away when I went to my local coffee shop recently and to my surprise there was only one young girl on, and there is usually two, as usually it was very busy, and this poor girl was run off her feet, but to her credit, she kept the smile on her face, and tried her hardest to keep up with the orders coming in. When it came time to go up and grab my tables order, I noticed a help wanted sign in the coffee pick up bay, and I also noticed the boss coming in with the milk order. I smiled at him and said hi as usual, I also pointed out the sign and the fact that he only had one staff member on. He looked at me with disappointment and said that one of his staff was sick and ended up in hospital, and that he had asked the rest of his staff members if they would take on the girls hours till she could get back. He has four other staff member and all of them said no, that they had other social arrangements, and that between the 5 of them, they couldn’t possible find a way to spread the shifts out. To which the boss told them that it would leave him no choice but to hire another staff member which would result in a permanent loss of hours each week to them all, as he would have to give the new person a minimum set of hours each week. To this, all five girls said they were fine with the loss of hours as it would give them more time to go out with their friends! It was at this point that I could understand his disappointment, he is a very fair boss, and goes out of his way to look after his staff, who in turn couldn’t even help out by taking on a few extra hour for one week! I mean if I had a way to get there each day and still be able to look after my kids and keep up with my study, I would have taken on the position, screw my social life, bills are more important!
But that I think is the problem with the twelvies of today, they have their priorities all wrong! More worried about how many friends they have, or how many likes they can get on their latest selfie, why because they don’t need to worry about anything of a serious not when mum and dad are there to put their hand out. Now don’t get me wrong, with the prices of homes and well just living costs in general, I completely agree with kids not flying the coop as soon as they leave high school, I have already told my kids that as long as they are either working or studying full time, they will have a roof over their heads at home. That way they will stand a chance at saving up, and to one day be able to go out on their own and survive. I know several friends who decided to give their young twelvies mobiles, now I can understand why they thought this would be a good idea, they have to catch buses and trains home from school, or so they are contactable when they are out with their friends. The part that I dont agree with is that they didnt have to do anything to earn these phones, and they dont have to do anything in order to keep them either, so what do you think happened, that right everyone of them ran up massive phone bills, and I mean massive! One particular bill came to over $900 in a month! And who do you think had to pay the bill, thats right their parents, so what do you think happened the next month, oh thats right they each ran up another bill!
I asked one of my friends why on earth did they gave the phone back after the first bill, to which they replied well it was either give it back to them, or let them travel home knowing that if they missed the bus, its almost an hour wait for the next bus, and a lot can happen in an hour. So my next question was well why dont you just give them a prepaid phone, to which they said they tried that, but their child used up all the credit in the first day and then had no way of contacting them when they were running late. It just blows me away at the blatant disregard the twelvies of today have, they have no consideration as to who is going to have to pay for that bill they just run up, and if the parents take it off of them, they then hate their parents, and dont understand the fact that they have just punished their parents in more ways then one! I couldn’t believe it when my daughter had a friend over one day and the friend wanted to play with my daughters monster high dolls, now lets just say that these dolls have never ever ever been played with EVER! She collects them and she keeps them on her shelf and that is where they stay, I’m not even allowed to touch them. Anyway this girl was adamant that she should be allowed to play with them, So my daughter decided that because she liked this gir, and really wanted her to be her friend, that she would let her take down one of the dolls, they were playing nicely and all was well, until the girl left the doll on the floor and then stepped on it, which resulted in the arm breaking off. To which my daughter was devastated, and this little girl turned around and said to my daughter, whats the big deal, its just a doll, just tell your mum to get you a new one, thats what I do. Needless to say, my daughter never spoke to this girl again, what this little girl didnt understand is that to my daughter these dolls were her world, and some of them you can no longer get. I was thankfully able to fix the doll, but to my daughter the doll like her friendship was broken and would never be the same.
The little girl then proceeded to tell all the kids at school how my daughter cried over a doll and how weird she is cause she is in year six and still has dolls and doesn’t even play with them. I went and spoke to the girls mum about it, and I was shocked when the mum said to me that she wasnt shocked by her daughters behaviour, and then pretty much said what her daughter had said, that at the end of the day its just a doll, and they are easily replaceable, and that maybe its time for my daughter to grow up and that maybe I shouldn’t let her get so attached to things, just go buy her another one. Apart of me wanted to scream at her, but I knew that it wouldn’t have helped, to them its just a doll, and you can buy a doll from anywhere. But to my daughter it meant something completely different, and to me it was a rude awakening. Please tell me, at what point did money become just money? To me its what keeps my family alive, I don’t have much of it, so wasting it to replace something that shouldn’t have been broken in the first place, just doesn’t seem right too me.
I hear a large majority of twelvies demanding life to be fed to them by a silver spoon, on a silver platter, why because they believe they deserve it, because they know no different. For startes, things these days are designed to break and be replaced, for this very reason, people stopped respecting them. I hear so many people complain that their kids wont work, they wont leave the nest, they wont clean up after themselves or help around the house, they are rude and the destroy everything they touch. Well what do you expect!!! I swear I almost lose my shit every time I here the ‘Kids will be kids’, sure kids will be kids but at what point did not having to do chores or have respect, become ok and not part of being a kid?? At what point did the line ‘kids will be kids’ stand for let them do what ever the hell they want? And please tell me, how the fuck do you expect them to go from being a ‘kid’ to being an adult with responsibilities and respect? What do you think that on there 18th birthday they just wake up knowing how to function as an adult, just like that? Oh I get it ‘kids will be kids’ right up until the law says their bam your legally and adult, and now magically they are meant to just act like it, right? So how is that working out for you?!?!? Its funny cause you sit there and you complain and you blame it all on a generation, its the generations fault, not any individual, not any group, but a whole generation. News Flash, this problem started a long time ago! And before anyone plays the ‘but the government took our power to chastise our kids, so what are we meant to do?’ card. I don’t want to hear that bullshit excuse! Cause thats all it is, an excuse. Since when did smacking a kid become the only punishment? Has it occurred to anyone that there is other options? Sure they maybe more time consuming to begin with, and you have to commit the time and the effort into making it work, but there is always another way.
*ring ring* I can’t come into work this week cause I have a flat tyre!
That isn’t a phone call you would make now is it? You would deem taking a whole week off of work just because of a flat tire, a joke right, why because you need the money that you get from work to pay for your life style, and you know that you can change the flat tire, and if you dont have the time at that moment or a spare, you know that there are buses and trains, lifts from friends, you know there is another way to get to work. Sure its not as convenient as your own car, but you know there are options, you know that there are other ways for you to get to work. Punishing your kids is no different, but guess what, its not going to work over night, especially if you have been living by the whole ‘kids will be kids’ bit. But if you really want your kids to have respect, if you want the silver spoon to stop, if you want your kids to get up off there asses and do as they are told, then you have to make them, you have to show them, you have to put the time and the effort in. Otherwise you get stuck with twelvies who dont want to leave home, downt know how to look after themselves, dont want to work, and the ones who do work will only want to end up spending their money on themselves. Why? Cause they know no better.
Which leads me to the next phase of the ‘Twelvie Ratio’, called the ‘Post Twelvie Phase’.
The ‘Post Twelvie’ phase refers to a person who is usually between the ages of 18 and 21, and it is prety much just and amplified version of the ‘Twelvie Phase’, and in a lot of ways the post-twelvies phase can be a whole lot worse then your average twelvie phase. Now Just a reminder like before, I am aware that this doesn’t apply to everyone in this age bracket, and I’m also aware that for some this stage can last for only a short period of time, an that just like the twelvie phase some people grow out of it faster then others, while some people never seem too. So lets discuss what makes a ‘Post-Twelvie’…..
Trait 1) The whole’ just because we can, we will’ attitude.
So these twelvies just turned 18yrs and shock horror, they didn’t magically become adults over night. I know right, how horrible! 😛 So what now? Well you remember back at trait 4, when I talked about the whole ‘I think I can, therefore I will’ attitude, well this stage is like that…. but worse! Because now not only do they think they can, they now know that they legally can. You would think that they would now be afraid of getting caught, yeah? But reality is, would they be? Its either no longer illegal for them to do, or they didnt get caught before, so why would they now…. The average post-twelvie how gets caught, will respond with something along the lines of ‘I didn’t think we would get caught’ or ‘I didn’t realize how serious getting caught would be’, and this is usually followed by can I call my parents. They have it in their heads that they are 10 foot tall and bullet proof, they dont understand what it is to be an adult, because up until that point, they haven’t had to be, up until that point they have had no preparation. Its amazing how empowering being legally able to do what you want is, its amazing how they think that just because they can, means the the consequence no longer apply. And its amazing that they dont seem to realize that just because they can, doesn’t mean they should!
So you have this now adult, who still developmentally is in the ‘twelvie phase’, but who believes that they are a god within their own right, because they finally made it, they turned 18! They are no longer at school, or are just finishing up, so what now? Well that leads me to the next trait of a ‘post twelvie’…
Trait 2) The shock that becoming an adult may not be everything you thought it would be.
What happens now for the ‘Post Twelvie’? Well it usually takes the form of three different decisions, the first being they decide to take a break from school/working. They want to take some time to decide what they want to do with their lives, now thats fine and all, but please tell me just how do they plan to survive on this break? Usually their plan is to continue to mooch of mum and dad (and yes, as mention a few times, I am aware there are the exceptions who do the right thing, they save the money they got from after school jobs etc.), but for how long? Whats the eta on them wanting to get up and behave like an adult? What is the time period for when they are going to chose to get a job? to move out and survive on their own? At what point are they going to be satisfied, that they have worked out what it is they want to do with their lives? At what point are they going to grow out of the post-twelvie stage of life and finally become an adult? Well that is a hard question to answer, because I have know people who grow out of this stage within a few weeks/months of turning 18, but I also know people who are almost 30 and till stuck in this post twelvie rut, and worse yet I know people who are almost ready to retire and who have spent their who lives being a post twelvie, and are now having to deal with the fact that their parents are passing and they now have to look after themselves, but they have no idea on how to be an adult.
The second possible post-twelvie option, they decide they are going to go off and travel, they are going to go an experience the world. Now this does sound like a great idea, but we come back to the how are they going to pay for it? Some will make the smart decision and decide to make it a working holiday, and backpack around. While others will end up having to make it a short vacation, because mum and dad couldn’t afford much. But what happens when the holiday is over? Well they go one of two ways, they get home and decide they still dont know what they want to do with them selves and end up choosing the path of the first option and take a home holiday to try and find themselves, or they go with the third option.
The third they go out into the work force, or choice to study. Now this sounds like its the winning option, yeah? Hold on to that nice idea, because remember we are still dealing with someone who is developmentally a twelvie! They didn’t listen to you, what makes you think they are going to listen to their boss? or the lecturer? As long as they are still in the post-twelvie stage, they are going to go through job after job, or course after course. And it will never be their fault as to why the job or course didn’t work out, it will be the bosses or the other workers fault, not anything to do with them.
But then out of nowhere, it happens, the moment we have all been waiting for, they become and adult!
Something happens for them, and they work out what it is they want to do, they find something that works, and they start to become more and more adult each and everyday. They may not be very good adults, but lets face it, no one is perfect, we all have our flaws! But at lest they finally reached the goal of becoming an adult, and in all honest sure we want them to get to this point sooner rather then later, and we wish that the twelvie and post-twelvie stages didn’t exist. But where would we be without them? Whether we like it or not, this is a much needed part of us becoming adults, all we can do is give them the right tools they need, in order to help them along there journey, and hope that it doesn’t last too long. Because lets face it, if it takes them till they reach around the age of 21 to fo finally break out of the post-twelvie phase and become and adult, its better then the alternative of them being a post-twelvie for their entire lives!
An lets face it, it doesn’t matter what year or generation to which you were born, everyone goes through this stage at some point, and thanks to today’s technology its more in your (and your neighbours, and the people three suburbs over, and don’t forget the people across the other side of the worlds) face then it was lets say 20+ years ago, when even hanging out your clean washing for all the world to see was an embarrassment (and by world, I mean just your neighbours, and of course who ever they were planning to talk to over coffee that day). Right now everyone is in this massive up roar about how horrible Gen Y is and yet, I remember back to when I was a kid and listening to my elders go on about how bad my parents generation was, oh yes, you read that right! The generations before ours, all had to go through the Twelvie phase as well, its a part of growing up, its how we are designed to develop and evolve. News flash you are not born a fully functioning adult, who has all the knowledge of how the world works, and what to expect, or what to do! In order for each generation to reach adulthood, they need to learn and grow, and most of all they need to make mistakes so they can learn from them and improve upon them! As a parent, I am now forced to watch as my children begin to hit the first part of the twelvie phase of life, and all I want to do is shelter and protect them from everything that life is about to throw at them. But how will they learn if I never let them? All I can do is hold out my hand for support when its needed, and to help then stand up when they fall down. Sure I can share my life lessons with them, but they are going to do things differently to how I did them, and who knows, what failed for me, might just work for them! They wont know until they try, and try they will, whether I like it or not.
If you have got to this point of my rant, and you are still adamant that Gen Y is the problem with todays society, I what you to think about something for me. Now I want you to really think hard about this, and answer this honestly, based on lets say this last week, when you say that Gen Y are lazy and irresponsible, what age group are you talking about? I bet you anything that your mind instantly went towards people who are between the ages of 11 and 21, am I correct?
“Well lets just put it this way, if you still believe that it is a generation problem rather then a developmental age problem, and also factoring in which time period you decide you want to go by, you are for the most part, targeting THE WRONG GENERATION!”
Now if you remember at the very beginning of this rant, I gave two different time periods that get referred to as Gen Y periods, the first being 1977 – 1994 (which would make the youngest age currently for Generation Y around 22yrs, and the oldest around 39yrs), and the other being 1980 – 2000 (which would make 16 the youngest current age for Gen Y, and 36yrs the oldest).
Now lets do some basic math here, if we go by the first time period, and then think back to the question I asked you a few moments ago about what age group is where most of the current problems are. I guess you could say that Gen Y might have a tiny bit to do with it, An as we all know the ‘Post-Twelvie Phase’ can take a little longer to grow out of for some people, compared too others :p But reality is, you would only really be looking at a very small part of the population that makes up Gen Y, a few years really if that. So please tell me again how Gen Y are the problem? And again if we were to look at the last time period, you would be once again blaming the entire Gen Y population for the behaviour of less then half its populating, with 26yrs being the middle age point for this given time period, which as we have already established, is much older then the age time frame given, for where the most amount of problems are. Am I trying to say that the Gen Y Twelvies are compleyely inocent? No, not at all. Are the Gen Y Twelvies worse then the Twelvies that passed before them? Yes, yes they are, but guess what?!?! Back in your day, so was your generation of twelvies!!! As time passes each generation of twelvies pushes the boundaries and sets the bar that bit higher, for the next generation of twelvies to come.
“Just think, if you thought that rant was bad, wait till I get started on Gen Z (born between 2000 and current time), because from what I can see, if you think the Gen Y twelvies were bad, you are in for a rude awakening!!!! Gen Z is 1000000000 times worse, and its not getting any better!”
So as you can see accusing the entire population of Generation Y aka The Millennials for all the current and future problems, is not fair! Well at least its not fair on those of us who are honestly trying to make a positive difference in the world. If you really must have a target, then sure direct it towards whats left of the the Gen Y Twelvies and Post-twelvies, because you are right, they do need to sort their shit out, they do need to think about their actions and how they affect not just themselves, but also the people around them. And they do need to accept just like we did, that one day they are going to out grow their twelvie phase and look back on their lives only to realize that maybe to late to fix most of it. Not only that but they will also have to realize that what they might be able to fix, may not be they way it was originally meant to be, or ever be the same again. It is for this reason that I stand by my original statement that Gen Y/Millennials are very miss understood. While at the same time we need to face the fact, that there is still a portion of the Gen Y/Millennials population that is currently made up twelvies and post-twelvies, that are now getting mixed in with the Gen Z twelvies. And lets face the facts, the current twelvie population, are completely out of control and out of line! And sitting back watching them constantly screw up, only makes us as bad as them. Sure they need to make their mistakes and learn, just like we did, but we need to be helping them out and sticking up for one another, rather than trying to get ahead at the cost and expense of others.
“And that goes for the older generations too!! You are not perfect! You had your time, you made your mistakes, and guess what?!?! We are the ones who are left to clean up after you, just like the generations after us will be stuck with the mess that we have created!”
Our generation is no different to yours, we just tend to make our mistakes a little more public then the generations before us. An to be quiet honest I know quiet a few people from older generations who are still to this day, in the twelvie and post twelvie phase of life, and just refuse to grow up! Yet they are one of the first to sit back and complain about the generations under them. I would also like to point out the obvious, that if the older generations want to blame us younger ones, then I put it to you, where did we learn how to behave? Who taught us how to be parents? Who taught as how to be adults? Because I put it to you that an entire generation didn’t “fuck it all up” on its own! If the human race spent more time working together, rather then fighting one another, or trying to bring others down in order to better themselves, we would have a lot less problems! We stand a better chance at surviving what the future has install for us if we stand together and united!
And on that note if you are still reading, I think I will leave this rant here for now, I’m very sure I will have more to say on the matter at some point in the future, but for now I think I have gotten what I needed too off of my chest. To anyone who disagrees with my opinion and what I have written, that is your right to do so, and I’m sure you have your reasons to go along with your opinions, an that is okay also! We are all entitled to have our own thoughts and opinions. Just note however, that no one has the right to attack or abuse another person just because they disagree on the other persons point of view!
As always have a great day & thank you for your support!